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  “This is not good.” Dr. Zhan shook his head, a grim expression on his face.

  “What’s not good?” I demanded, wanting to know exactly what we were facing. My father pressed his hand over my upper arm as if to calm me.

  Dr. H frowned, his brows furrowed closer together. “The baby’s heart is beating at an unsafe, accelerated and erratic pace. The baby is in distress. I’m afraid if the baby’s stats don’t mellow out soon, then we’ll be forced to deliver immediately, otherwise the baby is at risk of possible brain damage or something worse.”

  “At five months?” I sucked in a deep breath, trying to force my lungs to expand, but they fought against me.

  “I’m afraid so,” Dr. H’s voice was low and solemn.

  Dr. Zhan rummaged in his bag and placed a mask over Lexi’s mouth and nose. He hooked the wire to an oxygen tank on his right, tucked out of the way. He turned on the machine. “We will be watching both her and the baby’s vitals closely. If the baby’s heartbeat continues at this rate for too long, then we will have to induce labor immediately, even while she’s unconscious,” Dr. Zhan said.

  I heard their words, but couldn’t wrap my brain around them. Anger was blocking my receptors. I didn’t want to face the truth. I didn’t want to think about the possibilities. I clutched her tighter, rolling her onto her side and into me. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to her head, willing her to hold on; praying that nothing happened to her or our baby, the two people I loved the most in this world.

  “Stay with me, babe.”

  Chapter 29

  Kellan

  Doctor H’s office was completely tumultuous. Everyone was demanding answers, but the doctors had shut us out.

  I was surprised I hadn’t worn a hole into the floor from pacing. My pulse was as erratic as Lexi’s had been. I was on the edge of the cliff, teetering. This was not how it was supposed to be.

  My parents were overjoyed, but their relief was clouded by a new threat. It was no longer their son at risk, but their grandchild.

  Staring around the room, we had so many people who cared about us. We wouldn’t have survived this long without them. But the single person who got us this far was no longer alive.

  Every time I thought about it, it was like being sucker punched.

  I sighed, peering through the small window in the door again. No one was in the hall, but I still heard my baby’s heartbeat jumping around in the distance. It felt like someone was holding my heart in their fist, squeezing that last of the life from it.

  I slammed my hands against the door, splintering the wood on the surface. As I turned back to them, they were all gazing at me helplessly. We couldn’t do anything. It was up to Lexi and the doctors now.

  ***

  Lexi

  I groaned as I shifted. My entire body felt like it was bruised. My muscles ached.

  Then, its heartbeat came into focus. My baby’s heartbeat was unstable.

  My eyes flew open, my hands immediately going to my stomach.

  “We need you to calm down. That’s the only way your baby will come out okay.” Dr. Zhan petted my forearm, his eyes were compassionate, but not the eyes I wanted to see.

  “We’re going to keep you here for a couple hours until the baby’s heartbeat regulates back to an acceptable level.” Dr. H studied his clipboard of notes.

  I swallowed hard. “And if it doesn’t?”

  He stared down at my belly before meeting my gaze, a grim expression on his face. “Then you’ll be having the baby today.”

  “What?” My heart jumped. The baby immediately reacted and guilt slammed into my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to control my reaction for the sake of my baby. “Can it survive on the outside at this stage?”

  Dr. Zhan smiled. “It is a vampire. It’s stronger than you think.”

  I felt marginally better with his assurance. I leaned back on the bed, swaddling my stomach. It was my fault it was going through this. The one thing I had control of was my reaction, yet I’d lost it, the same way I’d lost Kai.

  Tears quickly gathered, as my chest compressed and my lungs struggled to expand.

  Dr. H eyed me hard. “You’re lucky to be alive. Now you need to relax and rest.” He sighed, marking something on the stack of papers in front of him. “You have a waiting room full of people storming down our doors.”

  I popped my head up. “Where’s Kellan?”

  “I’ll send him back. I’m serious though. Don’t work yourself up. You can break down later once your baby is in the safe zone.” Dr. H’s tone was firm.

  I nodded. I didn’t know how I would choke down the overwhelming amount of emotions already swelling up inside me, but I’d do it for my baby.

  They left, and a minute later Aunt Claire, Kellan, and Beth walked in.

  “How are you, honey?” Aunt Claire fussed over me. Her expression changing slightly, as she took me in.

  Beth stood back, watching me from a distance as Kellan immediately moved to be by my side. He brushed the stray hairs back away from my face, kissing my forehead lightly, with such meaning.

  “How long have I been out?” I fidgeted beneath their heavy gazes.

  “Quite a while,” Aunt Claire stated.

  “You need to take it easy, sweetie.” Tears shone in Beth’s eyes as she stepped forward. “We can’t lose anyone else.”

  I took her hand. I felt the telltale tightening in my chest as liquid threatened to spill from my eyes. “I don’t want to lose anyone else. I can’t.” I swallowed hard, trying to contain my anguish.

  I took several deep breaths, blinking the tears away.

  Two by two, they entered the room, checking on me personally. No one spoke of what had happened, the loss we were dealt. Instead, all I received were sympathetic looks that made me want to scream.

  Kellan remained by my side until the doctors released us three hours later. They said tightening in my stomach or light cramping was okay, but anything stronger or anything recurring would need to be addressed immediately.

  “You ready, Baby Cakes?” Drexel tried to smile, trying to keep things light and airy, but even he failed under the current circumstances.

  “I got here as soon as I could,” Kalel rushed towards me as we were walking out of the doctor’s office. It was obvious he was fighting hard not to let go, struggling to be the strong, in control vampire everyone knew him as.

  I reached up to touch his face, fighting against our odds, as I stared deeply into his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  He’d put up a string front. He gripped my wrist, pulling my hand towards him. He pressed a kiss to the back of my hand. “How are you holding up?”

  “I think we both know.” My voice was low, strained.

  He nodded. “I’ll follow you back to your place.”

  “You don’t have to be there, Kalel.”

  He averted his gaze for a moment before meeting mine again. “He would want me to be.”

  I couldn’t argue with him. I knew Kai would want him to be. That was the hard part. I knew him too well. My heart broke again, emotions overpowering me. I breathed deep, trying to brace myself against them. I struggled to beat them down, especially with the aftermath staring me in the face right now. Kalel was officially an orphan in this world…I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Had Kai never loved me, he wouldn’t be suffering this loss.

  “Everything happens for a reason.” Kellan hugged me to his side.

  Chapter 30

  Will met us in the lobby at the condo.

  “How are you, lovey?” He observed me closely.

  I gave him a tight-lipped smile, shrugging my shoulders.

  He gazed at the ground for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He lifted his focus to Kalel before trailing back to me. “He chose this. He spoke with me about it. This was his decision, a decision that he had every right to make.”

  I bit my lower lip hard as it quivered. I was so close to breaking down; so close to losing the armor I’d carefully built
between me and the loss of someone I loved so immensely. “You knew?” My voice squeaked.

  He frowned, shaking his head with an affirmative ‘yes.’ “It was his decision. He decided he loved you enough…”

  “I can’t deal with this,” I clipped, running for the elevator.

  The guys moved quickly behind me, easily catching up. I breathed hard and quick, trying to keep it all at bay. I was failing miserably though. Tears stung my eyes, threatening to fall again.

  Kellan slipped his hand in mine giving it a light squeeze, assuring me that he was still there.

  As we got closer to the apartment, I heard music. It momentarily distracted me from my dreariness. Drex moved in to unlock the door. As he opened the door, the music resounded loudly, flooding me, full force.

  I promise you, I’m always there

  When your heart is filled with sadness and despair

  I’ll carry you when you need a friend

  You’ll find my footprints in the sand

  I heard the song, the lyrics floated over me, piercing my heart. I took a step into my condo and doubled over at the sight before me. Tears swiftly chased each other down my cheeks. Kellan pulled me into his protective arms, allowing me to crumble in the security of his clutch.

  I sobbed. It was too much. The pain was a hollow, ache that refused to move from my chest. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like tomorrow would always be tainted without him. I always thought it was Kellan that I would feel this way with, but now I knew the pain would be even worse if it had been him. I hadn’t captured it right before. I loved Kai; I loved him more than I ever admitted to myself. I could picture him so easily; every time I closed my eyes his beauty and presence haunted my mind, and a fresh set of tears fell, a novel pain rocked my core.

  Kellan was silent. No one said anything. Kalel leaned in and kissed my head, running his fingers through my hair. I reached out and pulled him into me, slipping from Kellan’s grip. Kalel hugged me fiercely to him.

  “I’m so sorry, Kalel. I’m…I’m so…so…sorry,” I cried.

  “I know, sweetie. It was his choice though.” He cupped my head to his chest.

  And then the song started over. He had Leona Lewis’ song ‘Footprints in the Sand’ on repeat. Kalel stood holding me for the longest time. His pain was palpable, yet he remained strong and brave.

  I took several deep breaths trying to control my emotions; trying to wrap my mind around everything that was happening…trying to comprehend this reality. He was really gone. I would never see his smile; I would never breathe him in again. He wouldn’t be there, pushing me into adventure or protecting me from danger. He wouldn’t be there to meet my baby.

  I turned away from Kalel’s embrace and faced the beautiful scene before me. Open vases and jars of sand from the beach sat on every solid surface with a white orchid in the center of them. White candles were lit, casting a warm glow over the entire space.

  I bit my bottom lip to stop my jaw from shaking, but ended up breaking the skin, droplets of blood dribbling into my mouth before the wound healed itself. Sitting in the middle of the island was a silver-framed photo of Kai and me from the night we’d spent with Mel. He hugged me securely, both of us smiling towards the camera; he had a hand pressed lovingly to my baby belly. His eyes sparkled with happiness. I hadn’t noticed his glow the night it was taken.

  Kellan came up behind me; he grabbed my hand and led me deeper into the house. With each step more tears rolled, new waves of sorrow crashed over me. For the first time as a vamp, my vision blurred, obstructing my view. A sob escaped me as I looked at the note on the nursery door.

  Congratulations Lexi and Kellan.

  It’s a boy, a boy I know you’ll both love and treasure.

  All my love,

  Kai

  I felt Kellan tremble beside me. Kai gave up his life so we could both love our baby; a baby boy. Breathing was difficult as my emotions choked me; salty tears tumbled from my eyes uncontrollably.

  I glanced at Kellan. Tears rimmed his eyes; his teeth were clenched, his lips smashed together. His chest vibrated as he stared at the piece of paper taped to the nursery door. Kellan wasn’t openly emotional, yet I knew we were both humbled by Kai’s deed.

  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. ~John 15:13

  With a shaky hand, I turned the doorknob. My hands immediately flew to cover my mouth as I caught my first glimpse of the completed nursery.

  Ocean blue paint covered the walls. A dark wood crib sat against the wall opposite the door. One of the paintings of Hawaii, from Kai’s bedroom, hung above the crib, spanning nearly its entire width. It was substantial and anchored the space. A beautiful, pure white crib bedding set contrasted gorgeously against the dark wood and the walls. I walked over and ran my hands along the soft fabric. A plush tan teddy bear sat in the corner of the crib. I picked it up and hugged it to me, smoothing my hands over its fur.

  A white mobile hung on the end of the crib, with white stars and a moon dangling. I pressed a button and the lights reflected the moon and stars onto the ceiling as the ones hanging from silky ribbon flowed in a lazy circle; a lullaby filled the room, meshing with Leona’s ballad in the background. I ran my hand over my stomach. I gasped, feeling the baby move.

  “What’s wrong?” Kellan was in front of me in an instant.

  I smiled wide, fresh tears flowing yet again. An emotional giggle escaped me. “Nothing. He’s just moving.”

  I grabbed Kellan’s hand and placed it over my stomach where I’d felt the flutter of our baby boy. Kellan’s eyes lit up in amazement as the little one kicked his legs near my belly button. As if my insides were rumbling, an incredible butterfly with strength in its moves fluttered about, delivering jagged touches to my womb. My heart swelled as the baby tumbled inside my belly; he danced about as if he was happy, as if he knew that both of his parents were there, and would always be there, to love him…thanks to Kai.

  Keeping one hand on my stomach, Kellan used his other to wipe away the tears. He kissed my lips. His tenderness touched my soul; causing a new pulse of emotion to tighten in my chest.

  “I love you, Lexi.” His voice was a whisper over my lips.

  I became lost in his emerald eyes; the realization that I’d almost lost him today hit me like a ton of bricks. I choked back my serum and labored through my breathing, as the tears continued to stream down, replacing the ones he’d just wiped away. “I love you, too.” A whimper escaped me. “Oh God, Kellan. He’s gone and you’re here.”

  Kellan yanked me into him; I clung onto him as if my life depended on it. I felt Kalel move in behind me. He rubbed circles on my back. I heaved, feeling like a sensitive wreck; a useless, harrowed victim rather than a woman whose soul mate had just been spared. I hadn’t realized until now just how much Kai meant to me. Life wasn’t going to be the same without him; tomorrow wasn’t going to be the same without him – it would never be the same without him.

  I slid from the comfort both men were offering. I laid the bear back in the crib where Kai had left it and moved to the wall adjacent to the crib. I stared in awe at the window. Beautiful green curtains hung down each side, framing the window. A low, white bookcase was stationed in front of it. Several children’s books sat on a few shelves along with a few toys. A dark wood and tan microfiber, gliding rocker with an ottoman was beside it; a yellow pillow with green palm trees and turtles added a pop of color to the nursery. I rested a palm on my belly, already envisioning late night feedings and then rocking the baby back to sleep in the chair.

  Turning to the right, I gazed at the wall with the door on the right side of it. A tall, dark wood, five-drawer dresser was on the left. A silver lamp with a blue, green, yellow and white striped shade was set on top of the dresser. Beside the lamp was another vase with sand. Unlike the others though, this one had different types of shells on the surface of the sand.

  Beside the dresser was a changing table stocked with diap
ers, wipes and other baby essentials. My heart skipped a beat at the TV mounted to the wall; just as Kai’s did in his bedroom, it played a live feed of the sunset in Hawaii over the beach. The ocean’s waves crashing against the shore created a soft lullaby throughout the room. He’d thought of everything and even had small plush crabs and turtles secured to white ribbon and hanging along the bottom of the television so when the baby was lying there, he would have something to focus on.

  Feeling my emotions flaring up again, I turned away. I sighed as I looked at the wall to the left of the crib, the white closet door standing out against the blue. The baby’s swing, the swing Kai had helped me pick out the day I told him the news, was angled diagonally in front of the wall, facing towards the TV. On the wall behind it, scripted in crisp white letters was, ‘Rock-a-bye my sweet baby.’

  I looked at Kalel and Kellan, both watching me apprehensively. I smiled, even as my eyes watered again. “He thought of everything.” I bit my lip to hold the tears back. I swallowed hard. “He’s given our baby everything.”

  Kalel pursed his lips, a sadness in his eyes. “You brought out the best in him, Leka. This room is proof of that.” He averted his eyes, looking around the room. I knew he was thinking about him.

  Kellan clapped Kalel’s shoulder, standing silently beside him. I could tell he didn’t know quite what to say. I saw the emotions glazing his eyes as he studied me. He flashed me a meek smile. Why did this moment have to be so bittersweet?

  Drexel approached the door. “Are you okay, sweetie?” His hands were crammed in his pockets as he watched me closely from where he stood.

  Not trusting my voice, I nodded my head ‘yes.’

  His gaze took in the room before coming back to me. “He did a great job; this is the room he left you, with a piece of himself in every corner.”

  “Yeah,” I choked. “He did.” I tried to smile, but ending up huffing. “Why can’t I stop crying? Ugh!”